Ali. 19. Just north of Seattle, WA.I talk too loud and think too much. I am open-minded, yet very opinionated. Stargazer. I have a big heart full of so much love I don't know what to do with, and I am confused, to say the least. Stay the fuck out of my brain. Twitter/Instagram: @missalipeanut
I hate the idea of lonely. And I hate the reality of attachment.
1) The words you slurred into my mouth embroidered themselves into the insides of my cheeks and I tried to pull them out with tweezers but it just ended with blood stained teeth and my best friend screaming “What the fuck did you do!?”
2) I started picturing the boy in my book as you and now I’m back to ragged breathing and a clenched heart whenever I see you in the god damned hall
3) I tried to wash away the anniversary of the last time we spoke with some scotch I found in my garage but it tasted like you and Jesus Christ I was so close to getting that flavor out of my mouth but now it’s here again even though you aren’t
4) How am I supposed to forget you when every song I hear has pieces of you laced in the lyrics?
5) I’m afraid to unfollow you on Instagram because it’s my only way to make sure you’re doing alright so now I’m stuck with the image of you kissing her swirling around my brain even after my fifth round of shots
6) I threw your T shirt in the trash but my housekeeper must have thought it was a mistake because when I got home it was folded neatly on my bed and how am I supposed to get you out of my mind when I can’t even get you out of my room?
7) Today a boy in Algebra II looked at me the same way you did when we first met and I spent the rest of the period coughing up blood and coffee in the bathroom sink
8) I’ve spent forever using you as an excuse for not falling in love again and if I stop doing that I’ll have to admit that its really because I know nobody else will want me back (Not that you ever really did)
9) We had to create a fire in Chemistry and the flame was as warm as your hand on my thigh and all I wanted to do was light myself with it
10) I heard that if you get stabbed you’re supposed to leave the knife inside of you because it prevents more blood from pouring out than there already is so I’m just going to pretend your arms are still wrapped around me because I really don’t want any more blood stains on my carpet